A Word Please

October is Domestic Abuse Awareness month. For the entire month, I am dedicating my blog to help shine the light on this epidemic. I have some of the bravest, strongest, most intelligent abuse survivors coming up as guests throughout this month. Their stories are both shocking and inspiring. My hope is that their stories will help educate the public. But, mostly, I’m hoping that these stories will help save at least one woman, child or man from enduring what my guests have had to live through.

My novel Enemies and Playmates centers on the theme of domestic abuse. I’ve been criticized for making the abuse scenes in this book too graphic, despite having toned it down considerably in rewrites prior to publishing. I’ve also been told that it’s not realistic, that a woman and mother would never put up with what went on in the Covington family. But what I’ve written as fiction doesn’t come close to the reality of some women’s lives. Abuse, both psychological and physical, is often a slow process, creeping up on the woman and making her feel worthless.

Of course, domestic abuse isn’t only about women. Children suffer from one or more abusive parents and family members. Occasionally men suffer at the hands of their spouse or girlfriend. And the psychological impact is absolutely not limited to the person being abused. Everyone in the family suffers. Here are a few facts to consider:

1 in 4 women in the U.S. will be a victim of domestic abuse at some point in her life.

Women accounted for 85% of the victims of intimate partner violence, men for approximately 15%.

Between 600,000 and 6 million women are victims of domestic violence each year, and between 100,000 and 6 million men, depending on the type of survey used to obtain the data. (Due to social stigma, men are much less likely to come forward and report abuse.)

On average, more than three women and one man are murdered by their intimate partners in this country every day.

Studies suggest that between 3.3 – 10 million children witness some form of domestic violence annually.

In honor of this month, I’ve made the ebook download of Enemies and Playmates free for all who want to read it.

Here is the book on Amazon, in both print and Kindle format:

You can also find it in print and for Nook on Barnes and Noble and in ebook format on Smashwords, Sony’s Reader Store, Kobo and Apple’s iBookstore.

If you know a woman, child or man whom you suspect is suffering from domestic abuse, please don’t sit back in silence. Reach out to that person. You could save a life.

I hope you’ll check back each Monday and Thursday throughout the month to meet my guests and read their stories. They are incredible people and I am honored to know them all.

Do you need help or know someone who does?
National Coalition Against Domestic Violence provides anonymous and confidential help 24/7:
1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
1-800-787-3224 (TTY)

Thanks for reading.

Writing. Alcohol. Drugs. Do they go together?

If you’re a fan of the classics, then you know that one or more of your favorites was probably written while under the influence of either or both. Here’s a look at some popular authors whose writing came about while under the influence:

Jack London:
“I was carrying a beautiful alcoholic conflagration around with me. The thing fed on its own heat and flamed the fiercer. There was no time, in all my waking time, that I didn’t want a drink. I began to anticipate the completion of my daily thousand words by taking a drink when only five hundred words were written. It was not long until I prefaced the beginning of the thousand words with a drink.”

Made famous for books including The Call of the Wild and White Fang, London had a lifelong battle with alcoholism. He suffered from uremia, a condition that impairs kidney function. He died on November 21st, 1916. Sources vary on cause of death, calling it either an accidental or intentional morphine overdose or that he died of complications from the kidney disease.

Robert Louis Stevenson:
“Wine is bottled poetry.”

Robert Louis Stevenson abused hashish, opium and possibly cocaine. A nightmare prompted a three day writing fury, in which the rough draft of The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde was born. He then rewrote the book in another three day marathon. The nightmare and subsequent book might have been a result of a treatment he’d been receiving with a derivative of ergot, a potentially deadly hallucinogenic fungus.

Dylan Thomas:
“An alcoholic is someone you don’t like, who drinks as much as you do.”

Dylan Thomas was a poet well known for pieces such as Do not go gentle into that good night. He was also an alcoholic who continually ignored his doctor’s advice to give up alcohol before it killed him. After a drinking binge, he fell into a coma. Four days later, at the age of 39, Thomas died.

Jack Kerouac:
“As I grew older I became a drunk. Why? Because I like ecstasy of the mind.”

Jack Kerouac was a novelist, poet and artist from the Beat Generation. He wrote the popular On the Road in less than three weeks, though it took him an additional five years to edit and publish the book. A lifetime of heavy drinking resulted in cirrhosis of the liver. At the age of 47, he died of an internal hemorrhage due to complications of the cirrhosis and his alcoholism.

Aldous Huxley:
“In the course of history many more people have died for their drink and their dope than have died for their religion or their country.”

Aldous Huxley wrote his classic book The Doors of Perception (See all Self-Help Books) in 1954, after being inspired by his use of the psychotropic drug mescaline.

Ken Kesey:
“I was raised a Christian and was a stone-faced acid head.”

Ken Kesey wrote One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest while on repeated acid trips and working the night shift as an orderly at a mental health facility in California.

Of course, alcoholic and drug-addicted writers are not a thing of the past.

Stephen King:
“With cocaine, one snort, and it just owned me body and soul.”

Stephen King is one of the most famous modern writers today. Between 1979 and 1987, King was addicted to cocaine. Many of his most famous books, such as Carrie, Salem’s Lot and The Shining, were written during this period.

Do you have a favorite author who is writing under the influence? If you’re a writer, are you using a little mind-altering substance to boost your creativity?

I’ll come clean here and admit that all of my writing has been done… completely sober. Boring, right? I know. The advanced Lyme disease caused alcohol intolerance years ago. I haven’t had a drop of alcohol since sometime around 1997. What about drugs, you ask? I hate to be totally dull but clean and sober there, as well. The only thing I’m under the influence of is writing. Though the neurological effects from the Lyme often make me feel high. And I did grow up during the seventies. Does that count?

Ever wonder why the names we are known by are often completely different than our birth names? I’m referring to the man whose name is William but everyone calls him Bill. Or the woman we call Peggy whose real name is Margaret. I’ve long been baffled by the source of these nicknames. I mean, it’s obvious why my son Joseph is called Joe. But I’ve never been able to connect why someone named John suddenly becomes Jack. I’m even vague on why everyone wants to call my son Anthony Tony.

Now I have the answers. Well, sort of. This is the best explanation I’ve been able to track down.

To unravel it all, we have to go way back to the Middle Ages. People have always wanted to refer to their friends less formally. When we like someone, we want to give them endearing names, something that shows our affection and our close relationship. Back home in Massachusetts, where I’m from, we added a ‘y’ or ‘ie’ to everything. John became Johnny. My name, Darcia, became Darcie. Back in the Middle Ages, their way of showing endearment was to add -kin, -in, or -cock to the end of the name.

To use my example of John being called Jack, we can follow the path through the Middle Ages — though it’s a little crooked. To his friends, John became Jankin or Jenkin. (I don’t know why it wouldn’t have been Johnkin.) That was eventually shortened to Jakin, which in turn became Jack.

Over the centuries since, we’ve lost the reasoning behind the nickname. We no longer start out calling John Jenkins. But many of these endearments remain in the form of surnames, such as Jenkins, Wilkins and Tompkins. So if your name is John Jenkins, you’re really John John.

Okay, but what about Bob for Robert and Bill for William? These nicknames came to us through the rhyming game, which was also a form of endearment. Robert was shortened to Rob and rhymed to Bob. William followed a similar route, being shortened to Will and rhymed to Bill.

Our name game is further complicated by the Norman Invasion of England in 1066. The native population had trouble with some of the new sounds in the Norman’s language, including the sound from the letter ‘r’. This resulted in new nicknames. Rather than Barb for Barbara, she became Babs. Harold became Hal, Margaret became Maggie and Teresa became Tess.

Letter combinations were also pronounced differently back then. The letters ‘ch’ together were pronounced as a ‘k’ and ‘th’ was pronounced as a simple ‘t’ sound. This is how we got Ted from Theodore and Tony from Anthony. This also explains the surviving spelling and pronunciation of names like Thomas, Theresa and Anthony. (In the U.S., we now combine the ‘th’ for the traditional sound in Anthony, though in the U.K. it is often still a silent ‘h’.)

Dizzy yet? I know I am. But we’re not done.

How did Helen become Nel and Edward become Ned? These nicknames stemmed from an early tradition of adding “mine” in front of a name to show endearment. (Though I’m leaning toward possessiveness here, rather than endearment.) Eventually, the word “mine” was shortened to only the ‘n’ sound at the beginning of a name. This made Edward, whose name was shortened to Ed, then tagged with the ‘n’ for “mine”, ‘N’-Ed or Ned.

I learned one final piece of nickname history. The tradition we now have of adding ‘y’ or ‘ie’ to a name in order to form a nickname began in Scotland. From there, it spread to England, then over here to the U.S.

There you have it. Nicknames do make sense after all. Sort of. I hope you now know how you wound up with your nickname!

You can find all this information, plus some extra stuff here: www.namenerds.com/uucn/advice/nickhistory.html

Thanks for reading.

My message board, the indie author/reader community BestsellerBound, is celebrating its first anniversary!

Or is it a first birthday?

Either way, it’s exciting news! BestsellerBound has grown into an incredible community. I am astounded at the talent of the authors. And, even better, they are truly among the nicest people I’ve ever had the pleasure of calling friends.

Celebrations need prizes, right? Of course! In honor of our anniversary/birthday event, a bunch of our members have gotten together to offer their books to interested readers. We have 11 prizes – 10 ebooks and 1 very special, not yet released, print book. Here is the list:

1 coupon code for a free ebook copy of The Dream by Maria Savva from Smashwords

1 coupon code from Smashwords for free ebook copy of any one title by Darcia Helle

The Choice by Sydney S. Song (my pen name for fiction, only) from Smashwords giving free e-book coupon

1 coupon code from Smashwords for free ebook copy of Echo Falls by Jaime McDougall

1 coupon code from Smashwords for free ebook copy of any one title by Gareth Lewis

1 coupon code from Smashwords for free ebook copy of The Other Room by James Everington

1 coupon code from Smashwords for free ebook copy of any one title by Susan Helene Gottfried

1 coupon code from Smashwords for free ebook copy of Nexus Point by Jaleta Clegg

1 coupon code from Smashwords for a free eBook copy of 2010 Hindsight: A Year of Personal Growth, In Spite of Myself by Sharon E. Cathcart

1 coupon code from Smashwords for a free eBook copy of Caraliza and also Breathing into Stone by Joel Kirkpatrick

and…

1 free hardbound, signed copy of Joel’s secret 5th novel, shipped the week it is released.

Want a chance to win? All you have to do is leave a comment here, with a valid email address. You need to be 16 years or older and can live anywhere in the world.

Want a few more chances to win? Five other BestsellerBound authors are also running features on their blogs. Visit each one and leave a comment. You’ll receive one entry for each blog you comment on. Here is the list of participating authors, along with the link to their blog post:

Maria Savva: www.goodreads.com/author/show/1418272.Maria_Savva/blog

Cynthia Meyers-Hanson: http://mchanson714.blogspot.com/2011/09/year-anniversary-celebration.html

Susan Helene Gottfried: http://westofmars.com/2011/09/06/its-the-bestseller-bound-birthday

Jaime McDougall: www.inkyblots.com/bestseller-bound-turns-one-giveaway

Joel Blaine Kirkpatrick: www.thetaleisthething.blogspot.com

The deadline for entry on all the blogs is midnight on Saturday, September 17. Winners will be notified via email, so please be sure to include a valid email address in your comment. The only other rule is that you need to be 16 or older.

Good luck!

Spoiled or unspoiled? How do you like your stories?

I recently read an article on www.wired.com called Spoilers Don’t Spoil Anything. Jonah Lehrer, the article’s author, stated that he prefers his stories spoiled. He reads the last five pages of a book first because he likes to know the ending before he reads the beginning. Then he went on to cite a study that supposedly proved that more readers prefer their stories spoiled, rather than unspoiled.

I’m baffled. I personally despise spoilers. If I read a review that gives away a major twist or, even worse, the ending of a story, that reviewer has ruined the reading experience for me. Am I truly in the minority?

What is the point of spending months, if not years, crafting a mystery/suspense/thriller novel full of twists and turns and a (hopefully) surprise ending if the readers don’t want to be surprised?
As I read the article, I found a few flaws in the research. First, the study used only a few dozen undergraduate students. Therefore, all the readers were in the same age group. Could it be that people in their early twenties have a different reading preference? Is this age group more inclined to enjoy a book if they’ve first read spoilers? Did the fact that they are all college students, overwhelmed with reading assignments, play into their preferences?

Second, this study used only short stories. A short story is an entirely different reading experience. Due to the length, there often isn’t enough time for a writer to craft a lot of twists. Would those readers feel the same way about having the ending and/or plot twists spoiled in a 400 page thriller novel?

One claim Lehrer makes about this supposed outcome of readers preferring their stories spoiled is that, when caught off guard by a twist, a reader’s first reaction isn’t happy surprise but embarrassment. Lehrer claims that we feel gullible and dismayed by our failure to see it coming. I wonder if Lehrer’s conclusions don’t say more about his own issues than those of the reading majority.

Gullible? It’s fiction, not a Ponzi scheme. I can honestly say that I have never once experienced any sort of dismay or embarrassment when I come across a good twist. In fact, a good twist or surprise ending makes me sit up and take notice of that author. I have more respect for the writing and the work that went in to crafting that plot. And I’m happy because that author was able to find a way to create something new and unexpected. I read more than 100 books per year. And I write suspense. Surprising me with a twist isn’t always an easy feat.

I have no doubt that some readers do prefer their endings spoiled. I know people who read the end first. I also see many reviews complete with spoilers. Some readers obviously do not want to be surprised. But the majority? I’d have to see more and better done studies before I believe that.

How do you feel about spoilers?

I’m stepping out on my shaky limb today and speaking up about something that irks me. What is up with this trend of giving books negative reviews based on bias toward content? If you don’t want to read a violent murder scene, you should not purchase a suspense or thriller novel because that is likely what you will be reading. Censoring content is up to the reader, not the writer.

All of my novels and short stories fall somewhere in the mystery/suspense/thriller genre. This is a broad category that includes everything from the cozy mystery, which is the mild whodunit that downplays violence, to the heart-thumping crime thriller that feeds off issues like violence, murder and revenge. In between, you’ll find romantic suspense, paranormal mysteries, psychological suspense, supernatural thrillers and more. The mystery/suspense/thriller genre encompasses a broad spectrum of writing and not every book written within this genre will please fans of specific subgenres. But this is not the writer’s fault.

The writer’s responsibility is to craft the best story he/she can, while remaining true to the plot and the characters. If I am writing about gang members or serial killers, chances are slim that I’ll fit into the cozy mystery subgenre. Writers know this and readers need to, as well.

While I have had some negative reviews based on the reader’s dislike of the violence and/or language in a few of my books, those reviews did not trigger today’s rant. You see, I am not only a writer. I am an avid reader and reviewer. I read a wide variety of subjects but mystery/suspense/thriller has always been my favorite fiction genre. I enjoy everything from mild cozy mysteries to graphic thrillers. Content doesn’t offend me, providing it fits the writing style, plot and characters. I want to make that clear because I am not a fan of gratuitous violence or graphic scenes used merely for shock.

I’m aware when I pick up a book labeled as a thriller that I’m stepping into dark territory. The choice to do so is mine alone. I am responsible for reading the product description and deciding whether I want to enter that writer’s world. Lately, I’ve been reading negative reviews for suspense and thriller novels that I’ve loved, only to find that the sole issue the reader had was violent content. This is completely unfair to the writer.

I would not purchase a book within the erotica genre, then give it a poor rating based on the sex being too graphic. Nor would I purchase a fantasy novel, only to write a review slamming it for being too fantastical. But these genres make it easier for readers to predict content. We all know that erotica will contain graphic sex. We also expect that a fantasy novel will take place in a made-up world.

The mystery/suspense/thriller genre is a gigantic playground made up of innocent children on a swing set and bodies buried in the sandbox. Anything could be lurking in the shadows or standing out in bright sunshine. For those who are offended by content, it is vital to play close attention to plot description and subgenre. You must approach this wide genre with this understanding. Choose your reading material wisely. If the plot description tells you there are serial killers, hit men, mafia, gang activity and/or murderers running loose, be aware that violence, to some degree, will be a part of the story. Please do not slam a book and its author for not living up to your personal censoring requirements.

Indiana has become the 41st state to adopt the Common Core State Standards for English, which puts an end to the mandatory teaching of cursive handwriting. This means that most children born this year will not learn that loopy writing we use to sign our names and, probably, not much else. They will not learn to write it – nor will they learn to read it.

Does this matter?

When was the last time anyone under the age of 30 wrote a letter, report, or even a thank you note in cursive? For that matter, when is the last time someone over 30 did?

Kids who barely know how to print letters are using computers to type words. Reports and assorted homework assignments are done using Word and other notepad-type programs. Computers are commonplace in schools and many work environments. This new generation rarely uses a pen and paper to print words. Fancy cursive handwriting is already nonexistent in their world.

My youngest son is 20. When he does use the old-fashioned pen and paper, he prints. Always. I can’t remember the last time I saw him write anything in cursive.

Aside from the nostalgia, is there any reason why we need to continue teaching our children to write and read cursive?

A few situations come to mind for me. All those forms we have to fill out in life – buying a home, bank loans, credit card applications, licenses, and even doctor’s forms – require a signature. Most require the person to print his/her name in one spot, then sign in another. Our signature is supposed to be uniquely ours, the way these establishments identify that we are indeed who we say we are, that we understand and agree with the rules and regulations we must adhere to. With cursive no longer being taught, signatures will become obsolete.

Again, does this matter?

I don’t see how signing your name on a document makes it any more legal than printing your name there. I don’t know the intricate legalities of these things but I would think that placing your name on a document, printed in crayon or signed in quill pen, makes it legally binding. In fact, I think the reason we have to first print our names is because often times a person’s signature is an illegible scrawl across the page. Our printed words are as unique to us as our signature, just easier on the eyes.

This brings me to a point in favor of ditching cursive. Reading a letter, document, report or other communication written in cursive can be a nightmare. Some people have gorgeous, neat, clear cursive lettering. Most of us do not. Can you even imagine reading an entire book written in cursive? There is a reason why our keyboards are printed letters, not cursive.

You may not be able to read a doctor’s handwriting and prescription, but you’ll notice his bills are neatly typewritten. ~ Earl Wilson

But what about autographs? Signed memorabilia will cease to exist. The new generation of artists will no longer have a loopy scribble at the bottom of a painting. Instead, they will print their names. Perhaps autographs and assorted signed property will become a thing of the past. More likely, people will figure a way to make their name or initials unique. A fancy print or symbol will become their signature. And the chances are better that we’ll be able to read it.

As you can see, I’m a bit conflicted on this issue. Eradicating cursive feels like an end to an era. Once upon a time, people took pride in their handwriting. But that time is long gone, having been replaced by technology and the hurried pace of life.

In the end, I can live without cursive handwriting. I find it a sad but expected departure. We must progress and that means accepting change. The youth leads us on.

That being said, I need to make one thing clear. No matter what schools teach or how much technology infiltrates our lives, I will not adapt to the texting shorthand that has come into vogue. I will never write a sentence that looks like this:

C U L8R!

My blog is being taken over today by the quite amazing reviewer and author Charlie Courtland. She’s climbing on her soapbox. I’ll remain silent as she rants, but let it be known that I am standing in silent support right beside her.

First off, I apologize for my lack of writing rants this summer, but I decided to dedicate a greater amount of time to reading and reviewing. Come fall that may change. With that said, during my ventures in summer reading, I’ve stumbled across some interesting reactions, critique, advice, reasoning, or whatever you’d like to call it, in book reviews. I’m no stranger to the concept that book reviews are general opinions and because of this, everyone is entitled. I like the concept that there is no right or wrong, simply a response or experience. Of course, such an approach can ignite lively discussions, but often most writers and readers gracefully applaud or bid ‘ado’ depending on content.

Recently, I came across a review that was a one-line comment stating the person would have rated the book higher but didn’t care for the f-bombs. The reviewer felt they were unnecessary. I too, read the book and firmly disagree. This isn’t the first review addressing cussing, but it was the ‘unnecessary’ part that shackled my hackles and sparked my fingers to fire off this fine rant.

My opinion on this issue comes from a writing perspective. This topic is often addressed at a nauseating level during college writing seminars, and the general consensus tends to be that the decision to ‘cuss’ (in literature) is often influenced and based on the dialogue development of the character. Now, it is obvious authors come from a variety of backgrounds and choose to deal with cussing in a variety of ways; some never include it, some limit it to certain words (excluding the worst), and some let it all fly – nothing’s taboo because it’s all language. However, I was guided by writing professors and mentors, and wholly believe that when constructing realistic, authentic and believable dialogue a writer cannot, I mean MUST not censor language based on his or her own practices, beliefs or offensive potential. I think this is incredibly important to understand and should not be undervalued by a reader or writer. Will this cause internal conflict? Likely, but that is part of the exploration of writing, right?

Writers, when developing all aspects of a character consider many traits, behaviors and yes, even speech in advance. To put it as simply as possible: If your character is the kind of person who would drop the F-bomb, spew a racist comment, say something sexist or toss out an insensible line of profanity, then as a writer you better do it, or risk the criticism of self-censorship, unrealistic and/or restrained, unbelievable characters critique. As a reviewer, I specifically look for this. The minute I see restraint, I tense up. Fine, you don’t like this in a character – my advice is don’t create one in the first place. But, if you are going to go there, then commit, completely!

It’s important to remember it’s not the author dropping the all-offensive F-bomb or cuss word–it’s that nasty ass character. It is necessary if the character demands it. On the flip side, if the character hasn’t shown any reason why they would suddenly turn into a cussing brazen fool, then don’t do it just for ‘shock’ value. That is just as untruthful and the B.S. detector will surely go off (at least with this writer/reviewer).

Charlie Courtland is the vivacious voice and founder behind Bitsy Bling Books. She has published three novels and reviewed over 100 books and counting. She graduated with honors from the University of Washington with a B.A. in English Literature with an emphasis on Creative Writing and a minor in Criminology, but apparently she can’t spell or edit. However, Charlie is terribly gifted when it comes to critiquing works of fiction, writing reviews, promoting and making other writers famous. It’s a gift really…just don’t ask her to type, facebook or tweet without committing typos. If you feel the need to point out a typo, she will feel the need to de-friend you immediately (unless you’re her editor). She currently resides in Seattle where she writes, reviews, complains about her neighbors, and is a full-time dog nanny.

Following Bitsy Bling Books on Twitter:
http://twitter.com/bitsyblingbooks.com

Join Charlie Courtland’s fan site on facebook (Get to know me. I say all kinds of crazy stuff!)
http://www.facebook.com/charliecourtland

Charlie/Bitsy Bling Books on the NEW Google+ (inner circles for authors and bookish loving people)
https://plus.google.com/106521194121095734214#106521194121095734214/about

Bitsy Bling Books fan page on facebook (reviews and giveaways)
www.facebook.com/bitsyblingbooks

GOODREADS: Charlie Courtland (all my book reviews, groups and discussions)
www.goodreads.com/author/show/3228002.Charlie_Courtland

Book Review Blog: BITSY BLING BOOKS
http://bitsybling.blogspot.com

If you haven’t yet read anything by Charlie Courtland, you’re missing out on an unforgettable reading experience. Here’s a look at her books on Amazon, in both print and Kindle format:

You can also find her books on Smashwords, in formats for all ebooks and computers.

I hope you’ll take the time to connect with Charlie and read her books.

Do you agree with Charlie’s view of profanity in books? We’d love to hear your thoughts!

Thanks for reading.

In my new novel Into The Light, Max, the main character, is a ghost. Joe is a private investigator and the only person who hears Max. They embark on a journey together, solving the mysteries of both murder and life.

Unlike Joe, I don’t hear ghosts. But I have had many experiences that cannot be easily explained. I thought I’d share one of those experiences with you today.

I grew up very close to my grandparents – my mother’s parents. In fact, I spent my entire childhood living below them. They owned an old tenement-style home. My mother, my brother and I lived on the first floor and my grandparents lived above us. My grandmother took care of us while my mother worked. My grandfather was the only father figure I had well into my teens.

A few ago, my grandmother learned that she had ovarian cancer. My grandfather had died several years before and I knew that his spirit was always around us. One night, shortly after my grandmother was diagnosed, I asked him to give me a sign that he’d be there to help my grandmother when her time came. The next morning, I opened my back screen door to let my dogs out. They scampered across the pool deck and out to the lawn, barking happily at nothing in particular. I was about to close the door when I noticed a beautiful butterfly perched on our pool cover. The cover was rolled up and sitting by the lawn, right in the path the dogs had just taken. And the butterfly did not even flinch.

I have always loved butterflies and feel a kind of magic when I look at them. I thought this butterfly must be injured because it didn’t so much as flutter. At that time, I had two dogs that loved to bark and two cats that loved to snatch anything that flew near them. (We’ve since added a dog.) Butterflies never linger long in my yard. I stepped outside and knelt right beside the butterfly. It remained still. My dogs ran to me, wagging their tails and dancing around. We were all inches away from this butterfly, yet it didn’t so much as twitch. I remembered my silent conversation with my grandfather late the previous evening and took that butterfly as my sign that he was near, watching over us.

All day, I kept an eye on that butterfly. Despite the noisy dogs, the slam of the screen door and the blazing sun, not once did it move. Just before dusk, I noticed it had finally disappeared.

When my grandmother got sick, she was living with my parents, not far from me. We took turns keeping her company, caring for her, making sure that she was never alone. Eventually, she became too ill to remain at home and had to be placed in hospice. I went to see her each day. My mother practically lived there. Again, I had a late night, silent conversation with my grandfather. I asked him to find a way of letting me know when the time came for my grandmother to join him.

One evening, as I was leaving my grandmother’s room, something told me to stop and take a final look. I suddenly knew that I would not see her again. My grandmother had already drifted off to sleep. I stopped and lingered there, saying a final goodbye.

At around noon the next day, I stepped outside with my dogs. We’d had rain early that morning and small puddles of water had gathered on the concrete of my pool deck. In one of those puddles, I spotted the butterfly from months ago. I know there are countless butterflies that look alike but I had no doubt that this was the same butterfly. And it was dead.

That was my sign. I knew that I would not see my grandmother again. She died within thirty minutes of me finding that butterfly.

Of course, this could have been nothing more than coincidence. Maybe there are no such things as spirits and, therefore, it is impossible for them to give us any sort of signs. Many people feel that way and I respect those opinions. We have no way of truly knowing, after all, do we?

But, in my mind, there is no doubt. Spirits and butterflies are my reality.

Seeing a murder on television can help work off one’s antagonisms. And if you haven’t any antagonisms, the commercials will give you some. ~ Alfred Hitchcock

I write about murder – gruesome murder, bizarre murder, murder for hire and murder as revenge. What I write is fiction. Mine is a make-believe world of murder as entertainment.

I’d like to take a noble stance and say that I don’t enjoy writing the murder scenes. But I do. That’s creepy to admit out loud, I know. I kill people on paper and I like it. How did this happen?

The truly odd thing is that I am a total pacifist. I even feel bad when I kill a mosquito and I despise mosquitoes. So why is it that I enjoying writing murder scenes?

I am fascinated by human behavior. And let’s be honest. People at their best are not as interesting as people at their worst. I want to know what pushes one person to the edge of civility, to a place I can’t imagine myself ever going. What is the catalyst behind the pull of the trigger or the thrust of the blade? No one lives in a vacuum and no behavior is born in a single moment. Someone who murders has to be inherently different than someone who does not. Or so we tell ourselves.

The woman who kills her abuser is different than the woman who is killed by a similar abuser. Is one action borne of rage and the other of fear?

Why did the tenth black eye trigger a different reaction than the first or the third or the ninth?

Anybody who’s been through a divorce will tell you that at one point they’ve thought murder. The line between thinking murder and doing murder isn’t that major. ~ Oliver Stone

When a person hits that raw spot, the low point he or she never expected to fall to, that treacherous climb back up can be as intense as the fall. Bloody fingers scrape against jagged rocks in the struggle to rise from the rubble. Some will make it, others will not.

The ability to explore the dark side, without physically walking that line, is one reason why I write suspense. Still, this does not explain why I enjoy writing the murder scenes. They are not a means to an end. I don’t write them in haste, so that I can then explore the outcome. I’m not emotionally removed from the scene. In fact, the only way I can write is to step into the character’s mind. I need to feel it the way he or she would. I need to be in that moment, with that person, pulling the trigger.

In a sense, writing for me is a lot like acting. I step into a role in the same way, at least psychologically. Perhaps that’s the allure. Writers, like actors, can become someone else. We step out of our comfort zone, embrace the anger and the absurd. We are no longer bound by our own moral compass. Those emotions, not ours but real just the same, allow us to walk in another’s shoes. When we’re done, we shed that skin and, if we’re lucky, we’re left with a better understanding of the world we live in.

It is my conviction that killing under the cloak of war is nothing but an act of murder. ~Albert Einstein